The Value of Obedience

 

One of the forgotten values of today is, “Obedience”. Obedience is an important value which is very much integrated with our Indian culture. I personally think, “Obedience is the mother of all values”, because without obedience, no other value can be inculcated in a person. Therefore, it is the base value, on which all other values are built.

 

Imagine a world without obedience.

• How would it be if no one follows any rules?
• How would it be if there is no right and wrong?

 

Yes. The world will be filled with confusion and chaos. It was with this purpose of bringing order in our lives, rules and laws were made, so that every human being in this world is able to lead a fair and safe life. Having made these rules and laws, it is the responsibility of every citizen of this country to respect the law and obey them. If not, that person will become a threat to the society.

I come to hear a lot of parents lamenting, “My child does not obey me. In those days, I used to blindly obey what my parents told me”.  It is so true. I too belong to that generation, where I have been unconditionally obedient to the words of my father, mother, teacher and even my uncles and aunts, irrespective of whether I liked it or not. But those days are no more. So, why this shift? Let us explore. I think there are a few reasons for this and few ways to deal with them.

 

First and foremost, the word obedience has found a negative connotation. Children tend to link obedience to slavery. They don’t like to be commanded, for it hurts their ego. They feel obeying the instructions given by someone, tampers their self-esteem. They need to be educated that, being an obedient student or obedient child, in no way demeans our value. In fact, it only enhances our value. The world praises Lord Rama, for being an obedient son. They have to be taught, that if they want to command respect, they should learn to give respect and the same is the case with obedience. In a corporate hierarchy, if you want your subordinates to obey you, you should be willing to obey your superiors.

 

Secondly, the generation of today is highly intelligent as they have access to infinite information, at the click of a mouse, which has increased their questioning ability. They need reason to be convinced, why they have to do, what they are asked to do. The problem therefore is not the obeying part, but our responsibility part in educating them, as to why a particular rule or order has to be obeyed. Rather than making it as a command, tell them in a way that they are able to find a reason. Also tell them the negative consequence of what would happen if you didn't obey by the rules. For example, you can say, “If you do not obey the traffic signal, while crossing the road you may get hit by a truck, which could cost your life or permanent disability.” This will make them think.

 

Another main reason is that, children are not able to look up at their parents as role models. They find duality in them. They find that their parents are not practicing what they are preaching. In other words, parents insist that the child should obey some family rules, but they themselves find them breaking it. For example, if we make a family rule that no one should watch TV, for more than an hour on weekdays, then that rule should apply to us, as well. Children do not do what we say, they do what we do. So, to make our child obedient, we need to be a good role model.

 

Obedience is the key to live a disciplined life. And a disciplined life is a key to be successful in life. Therefore, in order to make our children successful in their life, we need to take the extra effort to inculcate the value of obedience in their young minds, before it is too late for them to mend their ways. Also, let us make them aware that if they do not follow the law, they will be punished by law, because by breaking the law the person is doing harm to others. Reasoning and fear, will have to be the driving factor.

 

We can make it easy for them, by making a list of simple things they need to obey on a daily basis, like they have to wake up early, brush their teeth twice, put back the toys in the shelf once they finish playing, be courteous to guests who come home, keeping the room tidy, or waiting to cross the street. By educating our children, through simple ways, we could help them to move from lawful obedience (external force) to willful obedience (inner force), which would do them good, in the long run.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com