Overcoming Complexes 

There is nothing more demeaning in life than to live with low self-esteem

     

 

One of the problems that has been a limiting factor for many people to grow in life is their “Inferiority Complex”. This is a word many of you might have heard and few of you would have experienced or still experiencing. Inferiority complex is a psychological state of mind, which can drastically drain one’s energy, make one feel incapacitated, shrinks one’s potential and lower one’s self-esteem. 

 

Nowadays, I find a lot of rural students having difficulty in facing an interview, because of their lack of English fluency. This leads to inferiority complex, as they tend to compare themselves with the urban students, who speak English fluently.  This makes it difficult for them to perform well in an interview.  Similarly, I have met many intelligent people, who don’t dare to go and speak up on a stage, because they think they are not physically beautiful.  Being short or dark or fat are some of the physical features, which makes people develop an inferiority complex. This in turn reduces their chances of shining in life. I feel sorry for them or rather I am able to empathize with them, because I myself have been a victim of such inferiority complex, during my school days and I have gone through the pain and struggle. This gives me a perspective.

 

During my school days I used to be short, thin and puny. I was put up in a boarding school at the age of 10. I was the weakest of the lot, in my class. Because, I was weak it was easy for every Tom, Dick and Harry to tease me, nag me or bully me for no reason at all, and I was absolutely helpless, at that point of time. In spite of feeling immense emotional pain, I was not able to assert my rights, owing to the fear, that I will be hit by them. As I did not have the strength to fight back, I was just boiling within myself, but could find no way to redress it. As I had a very poor physique, I was not selected for any sports activities. I used to be the last one in a 100 metre dash, chasing all the runners and used to be booed and mocked, by all my school mates. I used to be the last pick, when teams were formed for any game, be it football, hockey or volleyball. All these incidents have been more than embarrassing.  Moreover, I wasn’t good at studies too. I was an average student. It was a very bad period of my life.  On the whole, my life was miserable.  There are so many days, I have cried within myself and have been angry with God for making me like that.
 
When I moved from my high school to higher secondary, there was a sudden sprout of growth in my height and physic. I couldn’t believe myself. Maybe, God felt sorry for me and decided to answer my prayers. This change, gave me an instant boost of confidence, which I have never experienced before. I felt good about myself. However, whatever has happened to us over a period of time, affects not only our conscious mind but also our sub conscious mind, which is more powerful. As my sub conscious mind was conditioned by the negative inputs, it kept pulling me down. So, while outgrowing physically was a nature’s blessing, overcoming my sub conscious conditioning was a big challenge, I had on myself. However, as I was a highly ambitious person, I was determined to overcome this complex. So, I was looking at ways, by which I could overcome this.
 
It is then I discovered that the best way to come over my inferiority complex is by turning my attention towards my strengths and operating from that source of strength, rather than worrying over my weakness. I started to look at the areas I was good at or have had positive experience in life. I tried to recall, such positive experiences and I was able to come up with a few. I had won the fancy dress competition, at school a number of times, and so I realized I was creative. I had represented my school table tennis team for few external tournaments, so I realized I was good in that game. I was the class topper in a subject called, Advanced English throughout my higher secondary, so I realised, I was good in English. So these were the only strengths, I had to begin with. The day I started to focus on my strength and not bother about my weaknesses, I started to feel stronger. Like a snowball effect, one strength helped me to gain the next strength and slowly I acquired more and more strength, through learning and training, till I became quite confident about myself.
 
There are few things in life, that is God given and cannot be changed, whereas there are many things in life, that we can improve upon by our effort. By working on the things we can improve upon by our effort, we can get over the limitations given to us by nature. So don’t, let inferiority complex to overpower you, when you have the ability to overcome your complexes.

 

 

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com