My Dad, My Hero

My Dad, My Hero

Through this article, I would like to introduce to you to one great person, who introduced me to this world. Yes, it is my dad, Mr.V.V.D.Dhayanandam, who I fondly call ‘Ayya’. My dad, aged 80 passed away on 20th Feb 2013.

As I sit back to munch the fond memories, I have shared with him, my eyes wells with tears of joy. Each moment I have spent with him, is something I will forever cherish. Interesting incidents, interactions and some conversations that happened between me and my dad, right from my childhood days keep flashing now and then in my mental screen.  The earliest memory I have of my dad, are the days he used to get me ready to school, right from dressing me up, polishing my shoes, combing my hair and sending me off to school every morning with a  big smile. Being a last kid of the family, I enjoyed a very special status of being his pet child. He made me feel special in his own ways. He admired me, for what I was and for whatever I did. He appreciated me even for my small accomplishments and laughed at my silliest jokes. I don’t remember having heard a NO from him, for anything I asked for. It was either given to me immediately or little later, but never rejected.  But, this did not make me a spoilt child, as one would assume. The more he said YES to me, the more conscious I became as to what I should ask and what I should not. The inner fear that I should never hear a NO from him, made me tread with caution as to what I should ask.

 

Just like he never said a NO for what I asked for, I too made it a point not to say NO to his wishes. His wishes were my commands. I always looked into his eyes for approval, before I made any decision.

 

As a kid, I aspired to do so many things. He saw the spark in me and kept the flame burning, by adding fuel of positive, encouraging words.  It would not be an exaggeration if I say, he believed in my abilities, more than I believed in myself. He put me in a boarding school, right from my sixth standard, so that I learnt to become independent. He did not give me a direction, as to what I should study. The choice was always mine. His simple advice was study whatever you want and I will support you. I wanted to do my MBA in a foreign University and I knew it is going to cost him a lot of money, but when he came to know of my desire, he said, if you would like to pursue the study go for it and no matter how difficult, I will support you. After I completed my studies, he helped me to set up my own business. In the initial few years, I ran into a number of business losses, but he never questioned me or stopped trusting me. He just kept telling me, that it is all part of learning and that if I keep trying sooner or later, I will be successful. These words made me endure the difficult times.

 

My dad was not much of a social oriented person or a business oriented person, but he was very much a family oriented person. To him his family meant his world and his world meant his family. He truly loved and cared for each and every member of his family. He lived his life, catering to the needs of everyone in the family. He found his life purpose and sense of joy in doing so. He put his family first and everything else as next. My dad was an advocate of a joint family system and he is someone who practiced what he preached. He can be looked upon as a perfect role model, for anyone who is interested in leading a joint family successfully.

Of all his wonderful qualities, the one which I have admired most is his “Patience”. He was an extremely patient man. Throughout his life, he trusted people and remained patient with them. And most often his patience was aptly rewarded.

 

He had a unique way of showing his protest when things did not go the way he wanted or did not like what I was doing. He used to keep silent and his silent used to hurt me a lot. I have always wished he scolded me, rather than keeping silent. Now that he has gone into everlasting silence, I feel the pain even more.

 

The type of relationship I and my dad have shared, is something extremely rare and unique. It is an experience that can never be expressed. Here is to my dad, my parting words, “Dad, I love you and I miss you. May your soul rest in peace.”

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com