How We Understand Life

Life is such a complex phenomenon, that it cannot be easily understood.  The uncertainties of the events happening on our day to day lives, leaves us many a times, puzzled.  As we gasp for answers, to our mysterious questions seeking the wisdom of the sages, the knowledge of the spiritual masters, the insights of astrologers and so on, we take to one of the following paths. Looking at the way one approaches life, I could see that there are predominantly four ways or a blend of these four ways,  that constitutes one’s belief system. 

1. The belief in Karma

1. The belief in Destiny
   

1. The belief in Human Effort

1. The belief in  Divine presence

 

The belief in Karma:  Karma , in Indian philosophy, is the sum total of one's actions, good or bad, that are attached to the soul as it transmigrates, each new body , and each event experienced by that body being determined by previous karma. Some aspire to amass good karma and a good rebirth, but others, regarding all karma as bad, strive for release from the process of rebirth altogether. Those who believe in karma determine, all that happens to one, is a result of past karma.

 

The belief in Destiny: Destiny is about belief in fate, fortune, luck or whatsoever.  This sect of believers, patronize the astrologers and the fortune tellers. These people seek the advice of astrologers, when they feel some troubles shooting up in life. The forecasts are generally based on the identifying the planetary positions at the time of one’s birth and relating the same to the current planetary positions. The astrologer takes a looks at the natal chart and assess the situations and gives some recommendations. Believers heed to advice, such as performing some rituals or choosing the right days, right numbers and right colours, whatsoever to coping up during the difficult period. Some value additions, to this are numerology, palmistry, gemology, vasthu, and so on.

 

The belief in Human Effort: Then there are the most logical set of thinkers, who believe that work is the only way to progress. If something went wrong, then they try to analyze and find an answer, rather than contributing the cause to an external factor. They read and learn to update the skills, and have a positive attitude towards life. In spite, of the best of their efforts, they sometime fail and this is when they start looking for answers beyond the realm of logic.

 

The belief in Divine presence: There is another sect of people who believe in the omnipresence of the creator. What we are talking about is not religion, but the faith in a power beyond our imagination, which we call as “God”. By prayer, we strengthen our faith and take life as it comes. We attribute all good and bad happening in our life and around us, as divine deeds. It is the faith that, “the one who sows the seed, will see it grow through rain and sun.”

 

Our beliefs are shaped by our own choices and the resultant outcome and there is no right or wrong belief. I am reminded of the beautiful words of OSHO. “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived”. So, let us learn to accept life as it comes and enjoy the mystery unveiling before us, day after day.

   D. Senthil Kannan,

  Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

  Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

  Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Faith turns Aspirations to Reality

On 12^th July 2007, a beautiful flower withered away from my family garden. I used to call this flower, Amma.  No matter what the age, what the health condition, a mother is always a mother and the loss of someone who has been with me right from my birth, is of course painful. Though, it is true that anyone in this world is indispensable, yet there are a few relationships that are not replaceable and I think a mother is one.

 

I have a habit of trying to find and adopt at least one good quality from my near and dear ones. When I think of my mother, I think the most important thing I wish to imbibe from her, is the faith she had in her children. I am sure this sharing of mine, will help other parents to get a perspective of this goodness of having faith in children

 

Right from my childhood, I have been a pride to her.  She delighted on the simplest of my achievements. She used to talk very proud of me to my relatives, her circle of friends and who ever she knows. She has never let me down on any occasion. Even when I failed in my 9^th Std examinations, due to my negligence in study, she did not scold me. She just told these words “Don’t lose heart”. To make sure that I am not mocked by others, she went about telling everybody that my son was detained, because he was having fever and he was not able to write his exams. Why was there so much of protection? Why was, I not punished?  I used to think.

 

This unshakeable faith she had in me turned me a new leaf. I realized my fault. I felt so bad and guilty for having disappointed her. From then on, I concentrated well on my studies and made sure I was at least in the top ten of my class, till I completed my post graduation. This was the magic of faith, she had on me. Faith turns aspirations to reality.

 

What I observe in many parents today is this lack of faith in their children.  We get easily upset over our children’s failures. We tend to lose confidence in our children’s ability.  We use wrong and negative words, thinking that we are correcting our children, without realizing that we are making things worse. I think it is time we correct ourselves and behave as more responsible gardeners of our children.

 

Just like a plant needs good soil, water, and sunlight to grow, we have to nurture our children with the soil of positive thoughts, water them with abundant love, support them with the sunlight of encouragement and appreciation. 

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com 

My Dad, My Hero

My Dad, My Hero

Through this article, I would like to introduce to you to one great person, who introduced me to this world. Yes, it is my dad, Mr.V.V.D.Dhayanandam, who I fondly call ‘Ayya’. My dad, aged 80 passed away on 20th Feb 2013.

As I sit back to munch the fond memories, I have shared with him, my eyes wells with tears of joy. Each moment I have spent with him, is something I will forever cherish. Interesting incidents, interactions and some conversations that happened between me and my dad, right from my childhood days keep flashing now and then in my mental screen.  The earliest memory I have of my dad, are the days he used to get me ready to school, right from dressing me up, polishing my shoes, combing my hair and sending me off to school every morning with a  big smile. Being a last kid of the family, I enjoyed a very special status of being his pet child. He made me feel special in his own ways. He admired me, for what I was and for whatever I did. He appreciated me even for my small accomplishments and laughed at my silliest jokes. I don’t remember having heard a NO from him, for anything I asked for. It was either given to me immediately or little later, but never rejected.  But, this did not make me a spoilt child, as one would assume. The more he said YES to me, the more conscious I became as to what I should ask and what I should not. The inner fear that I should never hear a NO from him, made me tread with caution as to what I should ask.

 

Just like he never said a NO for what I asked for, I too made it a point not to say NO to his wishes. His wishes were my commands. I always looked into his eyes for approval, before I made any decision.

 

As a kid, I aspired to do so many things. He saw the spark in me and kept the flame burning, by adding fuel of positive, encouraging words.  It would not be an exaggeration if I say, he believed in my abilities, more than I believed in myself. He put me in a boarding school, right from my sixth standard, so that I learnt to become independent. He did not give me a direction, as to what I should study. The choice was always mine. His simple advice was study whatever you want and I will support you. I wanted to do my MBA in a foreign University and I knew it is going to cost him a lot of money, but when he came to know of my desire, he said, if you would like to pursue the study go for it and no matter how difficult, I will support you. After I completed my studies, he helped me to set up my own business. In the initial few years, I ran into a number of business losses, but he never questioned me or stopped trusting me. He just kept telling me, that it is all part of learning and that if I keep trying sooner or later, I will be successful. These words made me endure the difficult times.

 

My dad was not much of a social oriented person or a business oriented person, but he was very much a family oriented person. To him his family meant his world and his world meant his family. He truly loved and cared for each and every member of his family. He lived his life, catering to the needs of everyone in the family. He found his life purpose and sense of joy in doing so. He put his family first and everything else as next. My dad was an advocate of a joint family system and he is someone who practiced what he preached. He can be looked upon as a perfect role model, for anyone who is interested in leading a joint family successfully.

Of all his wonderful qualities, the one which I have admired most is his “Patience”. He was an extremely patient man. Throughout his life, he trusted people and remained patient with them. And most often his patience was aptly rewarded.

 

He had a unique way of showing his protest when things did not go the way he wanted or did not like what I was doing. He used to keep silent and his silent used to hurt me a lot. I have always wished he scolded me, rather than keeping silent. Now that he has gone into everlasting silence, I feel the pain even more.

 

The type of relationship I and my dad have shared, is something extremely rare and unique. It is an experience that can never be expressed. Here is to my dad, my parting words, “Dad, I love you and I miss you. May your soul rest in peace.”

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

 

   

Overcoming Complexes 

There is nothing more demeaning in life than to live with low self-esteem

     

 

One of the problems that has been a limiting factor for many people to grow in life is their “Inferiority Complex”. This is a word many of you might have heard and few of you would have experienced or still experiencing. Inferiority complex is a psychological state of mind, which can drastically drain one’s energy, make one feel incapacitated, shrinks one’s potential and lower one’s self-esteem. 

 

Nowadays, I find a lot of rural students having difficulty in facing an interview, because of their lack of English fluency. This leads to inferiority complex, as they tend to compare themselves with the urban students, who speak English fluently.  This makes it difficult for them to perform well in an interview.  Similarly, I have met many intelligent people, who don’t dare to go and speak up on a stage, because they think they are not physically beautiful.  Being short or dark or fat are some of the physical features, which makes people develop an inferiority complex. This in turn reduces their chances of shining in life. I feel sorry for them or rather I am able to empathize with them, because I myself have been a victim of such inferiority complex, during my school days and I have gone through the pain and struggle. This gives me a perspective.

 

During my school days I used to be short, thin and puny. I was put up in a boarding school at the age of 10. I was the weakest of the lot, in my class. Because, I was weak it was easy for every Tom, Dick and Harry to tease me, nag me or bully me for no reason at all, and I was absolutely helpless, at that point of time. In spite of feeling immense emotional pain, I was not able to assert my rights, owing to the fear, that I will be hit by them. As I did not have the strength to fight back, I was just boiling within myself, but could find no way to redress it. As I had a very poor physique, I was not selected for any sports activities. I used to be the last one in a 100 metre dash, chasing all the runners and used to be booed and mocked, by all my school mates. I used to be the last pick, when teams were formed for any game, be it football, hockey or volleyball. All these incidents have been more than embarrassing.  Moreover, I wasn’t good at studies too. I was an average student. It was a very bad period of my life.  On the whole, my life was miserable.  There are so many days, I have cried within myself and have been angry with God for making me like that.
 
When I moved from my high school to higher secondary, there was a sudden sprout of growth in my height and physic. I couldn’t believe myself. Maybe, God felt sorry for me and decided to answer my prayers. This change, gave me an instant boost of confidence, which I have never experienced before. I felt good about myself. However, whatever has happened to us over a period of time, affects not only our conscious mind but also our sub conscious mind, which is more powerful. As my sub conscious mind was conditioned by the negative inputs, it kept pulling me down. So, while outgrowing physically was a nature’s blessing, overcoming my sub conscious conditioning was a big challenge, I had on myself. However, as I was a highly ambitious person, I was determined to overcome this complex. So, I was looking at ways, by which I could overcome this.
 
It is then I discovered that the best way to come over my inferiority complex is by turning my attention towards my strengths and operating from that source of strength, rather than worrying over my weakness. I started to look at the areas I was good at or have had positive experience in life. I tried to recall, such positive experiences and I was able to come up with a few. I had won the fancy dress competition, at school a number of times, and so I realized I was creative. I had represented my school table tennis team for few external tournaments, so I realized I was good in that game. I was the class topper in a subject called, Advanced English throughout my higher secondary, so I realised, I was good in English. So these were the only strengths, I had to begin with. The day I started to focus on my strength and not bother about my weaknesses, I started to feel stronger. Like a snowball effect, one strength helped me to gain the next strength and slowly I acquired more and more strength, through learning and training, till I became quite confident about myself.
 
There are few things in life, that is God given and cannot be changed, whereas there are many things in life, that we can improve upon by our effort. By working on the things we can improve upon by our effort, we can get over the limitations given to us by nature. So don’t, let inferiority complex to overpower you, when you have the ability to overcome your complexes.

 

 

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com