Don’t blow things out of proportion

I realized that keeping things in the right proportion is important for everything, be it drawing a portrait, cooking a dish, or stitching a dress. When things are in the right proportion things seem awesome, when things are not in the right proportion, it can turn awkward.

The same is true with our emotions. Most of the problems in our life are because of our inability to put things in the right proportion. We often hear the term, “Blowing things out of proportion”. It is so true. Many times, we either tend to exaggerate something that has happened in our life or sometimes we discount what happened as something insignificant. In both cases, we are doing something wrong, which can lead to adverse consequences. So, it is wise to put things in the right proportion.

We all have 4 basic emotions, which are “Happiness, Sadness, Anger, and Fear”.  All these 4 emotions are there for a reason.  We need fear to escape danger. We need sadness to cope with our pain and to relate to the pain of others. We need happiness, to enjoy life, work towards growth and achievement, and to celebrate our success. We need anger, to express our hurt or disappointment. So, all the emotions are important. Suppression of any of these emotions results in health hazards, whereas expression of any of these emotions complicates the trouble.

 

So, how do we deal with it? We have to learn to express our emotions, appropriately. There is a saying, “Don’t make promises when you are too happy, don’t reply when you are too angry, and don’t decide when you are too sad.” When we are in a state of extreme emotion, we tend to do the wrong thing, which can have a long-term negative effect.

When people are in extreme anger, they shout or scream. They even use abusive words or foul language. Similarly, when people are in extreme sadness, they tend to go into depression mode and even go to the extent of committing suicide.

Similarly, we see people are constantly worried about something or other and it is normal. A little bit of worry is needed, to help us plan and prevent problems we anticipate. At the same time, we also need to put worries in the right proportion, if we have to experience peace of mind. For example, there is no point worrying about things that will happen to us, 10 years from now, or about things that are beyond our circle of control or influence. That will only create anxiety and stress and go to the extent of making one paranoid too.

So, any emotion at an extreme level can be harmful. We have to learn the skills of maintaining our emotions in proportion to the situation or event. If not, our life and relationships could become a big mess.

I read this quote, “Anybody can become angry-that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”  Isn’t true? If we don’t learn to express our emotions in the right proportion, we run a serious risk of damaging our relationship and our reputation too.

So, it is important to develop our emotional competence, to express our emotions in the right proportion. To do that, the first step is being aware of our emotions and then having the ability to fine-tune the emotion, before expressing it.  Like all other skills, this too has to be learnt by doing and it gets better and better with practice. When we do that, we will start to see the bigger picture, of the expression of our emotions and start to use them wisely. By doing so, we will become better at dealing with others and ourselves.

Our thoughts tend to move like a pendulum between big and small, important and trivial, serious and casual. We must learn to put things in the right perspective, in order to lead a good life.

  D. Senthil Kannan,

   CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

   Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

   Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com