Don’t blow things out of proportion

I realized that keeping things in the right proportion is important for everything, be it drawing a portrait, cooking a dish, or stitching a dress. When things are in the right proportion things seem awesome, when things are not in the right proportion, it can turn awkward.

The same is true with our emotions. Most of the problems in our life are because of our inability to put things in the right proportion. We often hear the term, “Blowing things out of proportion”. It is so true. Many times, we either tend to exaggerate something that has happened in our life or sometimes we discount what happened as something insignificant. In both cases, we are doing something wrong, which can lead to adverse consequences. So, it is wise to put things in the right proportion.

We all have 4 basic emotions, which are “Happiness, Sadness, Anger, and Fear”.  All these 4 emotions are there for a reason.  We need fear to escape danger. We need sadness to cope with our pain and to relate to the pain of others. We need happiness, to enjoy life, work towards growth and achievement, and to celebrate our success. We need anger, to express our hurt or disappointment. So, all the emotions are important. Suppression of any of these emotions results in health hazards, whereas expression of any of these emotions complicates the trouble.

 

So, how do we deal with it? We have to learn to express our emotions, appropriately. There is a saying, “Don’t make promises when you are too happy, don’t reply when you are too angry, and don’t decide when you are too sad.” When we are in a state of extreme emotion, we tend to do the wrong thing, which can have a long-term negative effect.

When people are in extreme anger, they shout or scream. They even use abusive words or foul language. Similarly, when people are in extreme sadness, they tend to go into depression mode and even go to the extent of committing suicide.

Similarly, we see people are constantly worried about something or other and it is normal. A little bit of worry is needed, to help us plan and prevent problems we anticipate. At the same time, we also need to put worries in the right proportion, if we have to experience peace of mind. For example, there is no point worrying about things that will happen to us, 10 years from now, or about things that are beyond our circle of control or influence. That will only create anxiety and stress and go to the extent of making one paranoid too.

So, any emotion at an extreme level can be harmful. We have to learn the skills of maintaining our emotions in proportion to the situation or event. If not, our life and relationships could become a big mess.

I read this quote, “Anybody can become angry-that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”  Isn’t true? If we don’t learn to express our emotions in the right proportion, we run a serious risk of damaging our relationship and our reputation too.

So, it is important to develop our emotional competence, to express our emotions in the right proportion. To do that, the first step is being aware of our emotions and then having the ability to fine-tune the emotion, before expressing it.  Like all other skills, this too has to be learnt by doing and it gets better and better with practice. When we do that, we will start to see the bigger picture, of the expression of our emotions and start to use them wisely. By doing so, we will become better at dealing with others and ourselves.

Our thoughts tend to move like a pendulum between big and small, important and trivial, serious and casual. We must learn to put things in the right perspective, in order to lead a good life.

  D. Senthil Kannan,

   CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

   Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

   Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

 

Future to Present

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve. - Napoleon Hill

Whenever we talk about Goal setting or work on creating a Personal development plan, for ourselves, we talk about a 4-step process, which can be of help.

 

Step 1: Ascertain where you are now.

Step 2: Decide where you want to be, …….. years from now?

Step 3: Think about how you would reach there?

Step 4:  Check for evidence/measurement, to know that you are on the right track?

 

This is conventional wisdom, which works on the principle of moving from “Present to Future” and this method works. So, technically there is nothing wrong about.

 

However, recently one of my friends in the training fraternity, Mr. Chandruvel Murugan talked about a radically different approach to the existing paradigm. Though, what he said sounded a bit irrational, I felt there was some truth behind it, because it has worked for many great achievers, who have a “rags to riches” type of story.

 

He said, “When we focus on ‘Present to Future’ approach, we are often limiting ourselves to the concept of practicalities. A person’s present mental condition doesn’t allow him to dream too big, because the tasks he needs to accomplish to reach there seems difficult. All the barriers towards reaching the desired goal becomes visible to his mind eyes. Many people give up even before starting, because the goals seem overwhelming. This in turn makes them to desire less, because they think that is what is practically possible. But, if we look at the life of some of the great achievers, they have reached far beyond one can imagine. So, how was it possible? It is probably because they practiced a reverse approach, which is ‘Future to Present.”

 

So, what is this “Future to Present” approach? Instead of starting with the present, you start with the future or rather the idealistic future you want to be in. You believe that the current state of your life, doesn’t determine your future. So, you first decide what you want to be, no matter what your current situation is. This too has a 4-step process, but it is much different than the previous method.

Step 1: Dream of what you wish to be.

Step 2:  Believe firmly and unwaveringly, that you can get there.

Step 3: Feel, as if you are already in that idealistic situation.

Step 4: Act on every opportunity to manifest the dream.

 

These types of achievers, seem to have these common qualities.

• They have very big dreams with often gets mocked down, as being crazy, but they aren’t bothered about what others say.

• They have unwavering faith and belief in their dreams.

• They enthusiastically act upon making their dreams come true.

• They are always alert and dynamic, to all the opportunities that come their way.

• They are in constant search for networks, contacts, leads, skills, and resources, that will aid them to reach their goal.

• They do not restrict themselves to one method or strategy, whereas are open to new learnings and take hints from everywhere.

• They are less judgemental about others and more focussed about their own self.

• They don’t waste time and are always busy doing the things that will inch them closer to the goal, every day.

• They don’t curtail themselves, to their comfort zone, rather  are willing to take bold risks.

• They will be willing to travel far and wide, to gain what they need and even migrate to a new place, if the situation demands.

And when they work relentlessly on the pursuit, there is a strong possibility that they will reach there.

 

The ‘Law of Attraction’ also seems to work in favour of those people who have big dreams and believe in it deeply. It is just about having an unwavering belief, in one’s desires which helps people, get what they want from life.

 

While the “Present to Future’ seems to be a more consistent and rational approach, the ‘Future to Present’ is a dynamic and irrational approach, which seems to have worked for few people too. At the end of the day, it is all about growing and so the choice is yours, to decide which approach suits you.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Statue of Women Safety and Honour

Few months back, I visited the Jatayu Earth’s Centre, in Kollam District, Kerala which encompasses the world largest bird sculpture. The giant concrete statue of Jatayu is built on a mighty rock named Jatayupara. The colossal statue is 200 feet long, 150 feet wide and 70 feet tall. It is magnificent in size and truly spectacular.

The concept is the brainchild of renowned film director, art director and sculptor Mr Rajiv Anchal and his team took ten years to meticulously design and complete this monumental project. Jatayu Earths Centre tourism project is spread over 65 acres of multi terrain landscape, which is 1000 feet above sea level and has diverse geographic features ranging from hills, valleys, rugged rocks, caves to cultivable lands.

In the great epic Ramayana, Jatayu is characterized as a noble bird of divine origin. When Sita was abducted to Lanka by the demon king- Ravana. Jatayu rushed to her rescue, stopped Ravana’s chariot named Pushpaka Vimana and engaged in a battle with him. Eventually, Ravana took his sword and cut off the bird’s left wing and went away with Sita. It is said that the injured Jatayu and his lost wing landed on top of a rock. In time, the rock got the name Jatayupara. This is where the monumental statue of Jatayu is now built. There is a pond near the rock which is said to be formed by the stroke of Jatayu’s beak. It has water throughout the year and never goes dry. Legend also says that, it is the bird that told the whole story and Rama got the vital information about his wife Sita and Lord Rama gave moksha to the wounded and dying Jatayu.

Jatayu is an embodiment of valour and chivalry. Risking his life, he tried his best to save Sita from her abductor. Hence the Jatayu sculpture uprights as a towering tribute to women’s safety and honour.

This month being Woman’s day, I thought of penning this article which serves as a fitting tribute to the sculpture and the thought behind the significance given to the sculpture by its creator. In the words of Mr. Rajiv Anchal, this symbolism has great relevance in today’s social scenario since the crime rate against women is on a high. Each guest at Jatayu Earths Centre is requested to understand and emulate the inner meaning of this inspiring creation.

Thousands of years have passed since these epic days of Ramayana, yet women safety remains a concern in the country. While on one end, we see the liberal and progressive woman making rapid strides in different fields, on the other end we still hear of cases of offence against woman in the form of physical, mental and emotional assault.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “The day a woman can walk freely on the roads at night, that day we can say that India has achieved independence”. If we have to check for validation of this statement today, we will just become aware that we are still far away from that day.

According to a 2019 survey, 42 percent of Indian women feel 'unsafe' in their surroundings, and 78 percent feel that authorities are not taking enough measures to ensure the safety of women in India. About 43 percent revealed that they have faced an incident where their safety was undermined.

No doubt, the safety of woman is being addressed more openly and commonly, in both social media and government forums. CCTV Surveillance, all woman’s police stations, women protection laws are much more in place. However just having strict laws, will not serve the purpose, unless there is proper enforcement and women should feel safe enough to report any violence against them. The evidence of the effectiveness of the law, ultimately depends on the reducing number of incidents of such crimes against woman.

In the days of woman empowerment, it seems contradictory to talk about woman protection. Yet, I believe these both go hand in hand. We need to protect the woman in the process of empowering them, so that they will be in a better position to handle themselves. With more empowered woman in the workforce and all spheres of official work, the women safety is likely to be enhanced. Literacy rate of woman are fast growing and so we can sure be hopeful that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Together, let’s work to create a safer place for women.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

 CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

 Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

 Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com