Are you a Phubber?

Have you heard the word “Phubbing”?  Phubbing is a relatively new word that has found its way into the dictionary in May 2012.  So, what actually is Phubbing? The name seems to come from the combination of two words PHone + snUBBING. So, what does this mean? It simply means “Ignoring the person in front of you, in favour of your smart phone”.

How does it feel, when a person who is talking with you or discussing something, all of a sudden turns away his attention from you and starts looking at the Smartphone? Don’t we feel hurt or insulted? Though we may not say this, we definitely feel secluded or isolated for the moment, which is certainly not a good feeling. Most often it is not intentional to hurt someone, but it is an acquired habit, which can damage a relationship.

Don’t we see this scenario quite often, ever since the emergence of smart phones? We seem to be spending more time interacting with our outside world, either through call, email, texting, whatsapp or social media such as Facebook or Instagram. As a result, we are hugely losing out on personal contact or rather eye to eye communication.

And as a result, the world has got a lot more connected but people become more disconnected, losing out on conversation and real human interaction. We live in such a digitally saturated world that it’s affecting our relationships.

However, with the change in trend it is difficult to stay away from our smart phones. Our smart phones have become an all in one gadget, which help us to get so many things done at the touch of a button.

So, how do we balance our needs to stay connected both online and offline. Here are a few tips, to avoid phubbing?

• Disable non essential notifications: One of the reasons we tend to look into the phone time and again, is because of FOMO ( Fear of Missing Out). We don’t want to miss out an important update or happening. While it may be important to get a message notification, on a bank transaction, you probably don’t have to know the instant someone likes one of your Facebook photos or sends a direct message in Instagram. Minimize the pings and dings by turning your phone on silent whenever you can.

• Ask for Excuse: If there is a need for you to use the smart phone, urgently, it would sound polite to ask for excuse and get the work done. But once you are finished with that, make sure you get back to the person, with a simple sorry.

• Designate device-free zones: Leave your phone or tablet in a different room so that you’re not tempted to scroll through your social media or browse the net, when you’re trying to spend time with other people in the room. Dedicate times or events where everyone in the family leaves their devices behind. Say, Meal time, Before School or the last hour before bedtime or whatever.

Establishing boundaries around how often you allow yourself to be glued to your smart phone will help you avoid potentially hurtful social behaviour and it is good for your relationships.

By following this approach, we can stay on top of the latest tech trends, be active on social media, use your phone to manage your calendar, and still lend your attention and respect to those around you when it matters most. 

 

     D. Senthil Kannan,

     Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

     Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

     Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com