It
is Better to be Envied,
than Pitied
It is a general tendency for people to believe that if we live a good life, we become an object of jealousy and so there is a likelihood of getting into trouble or being harmed by people who have bad intentions towards us. There is also a wide spread belief in our culture, which we call "Drisiti". It is the belief that when people envy us, something bad will happen to us. So, people don't want to attract the evil eye. So, even if one lives a good life, he doesn't want to tell the world about it, because it is often mistaken as being boastful or being a show off. Moreover, we have been taught to be modest about our achievements, right from our young age and so we tend to play it small.
Whatever may be the
reason, people are wary of envy. As a result, people do just the opposite of ‘attracting
envy’ and that is ‘seeking pity’.
I come across, two types
of people. One set of people, who are always talking about all the good things
in their life, their achievements, their happy experiences and enjoying a good
life style. On the contrary there is another set of people who are constantly
complaining about their life, their misfortunes, their bad past and how
miserable they are. They are cursing God or the world for being so unfair to
them.
So, is God partial to one
set of people? The answer is NO. Everyone has their own share of troubles and
worries. No one in the world is immune from it. But it is the way we deal with
them that makes all the difference. We can either be happy, content and accept
our life as it is or we can be unhappy, discontent and worry about all the
things that are not going well in our
life. We can either look at our life as a curse or we can look at our life as a
blessing and this attitude alone will decide our happiness.
Self pity is a shame, and
people should realize that. It kills one’s own self esteem. It is a negative
way of seeking attention. Though, at the outside people seem to feel sorry,
deep inside they feel that person is worthless and tend to avoid them.
The root to self pity
lies in comparing oneself with others, and feeling frustrated. What they fail
to realize is their own uniqueness and special abilities. They take all God’s
blessing for granted, and fail to appreciate it.
As a saying goes, when we
fail to appreciate what we have it starts to diminish. The same happens with
people with self pity. The more they pity themselves the more worse their life
becomes. It is a sort of a negative spiral. Ultimately, self pity de-powers them,
rather than making their life better. People who are victims of self pity need
to consciously get out of this circle and decide to be more positive and say
positive words. As a result their life will change for the better.
Deep in our hearts, we
are all dreaming of living a good life. We desire a posh house, a better car,
having the latest gadgets, enjoying more luxurious life. We want to live a
particular lifestyle, but owing to the fear of envy we want to just be one among
the crowd. So, it is a paradox.
Just because we don’t
want to be envied, is it OK to live a miserable life? Now think for a moment.
Does it make sense? The obvious answer is a NO!
So, what do you chose to live:
Pitiable life or Enviable life?. Don’t you agree, “ It is better to be envied,
than to be pitied.”
D. Senthil Kannan,
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