Our Attitude determines our Happiness

I would like to share a recent happening, in my life. My younger son, Sanjeev had completed his grade X, and when we are thinking about his higher secondary, he expressed his interest to go to a residential school. Though he showed interest, I was not sure how well he would cope-up with the hostel atmosphere, as he has been quiet a pampered kid at home and also tends to be little fussy, about food and other things. However, I felt that this was an opportunity for him to get in touch with the hard realities of life and so started to look out for a school and finally decided to put him in a residential school at Madurai. The school we decided upon had a hostel with basic minimum comforts - dormitory type of accommodation shared by 10 to 15 students, no air conditioner, common Indian style toilet, open shelf space to keep the things. In addition they also ensure the discipline of getting the students to wake up at 4.30am in the morning, not allowed to use mobile, can’t go out on weekends, can’t talk to parents excepting for once a week and a lot other restriction.

Still having made up his mind, he chose to go there. It was a week since, we left him in the hostel and there was no way we could communicate with him. I was worried, how he is coping up and I was waiting for the weekend, when I could go and meet him.

I was expecting that he will have a lot of things to crib about and I was thinking within myself, as to how I should comfort him. And the weekend came and with a lot of excitement on one side and anxiety on the other, we went to meet him. He came out of the school, with a smiling and happy face, which was a sigh of relief for us. When we started to probe him with questions, like how he likes the school, the hostel atmosphere, food, etc, he kept on saying ‘Super” for everything. I was pleasantly surprised. It is then I realized, that as it was a choice he made by himself, he has kept up a positive outlook, towards this new hostel life. When our mind is positive, we tend to notice the positive things in any situation, whereas when our mind is negative, we tend to notice the drawbacks and even small things irritate us.

There is a famous quote, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”. I feel this is very true. Two people facing a same issue, may react differently to it. Like, one person may look at a problem as a problem, whereas the other might look at it as an opportunity.

Similarly, when we are driving and a pedestrian cuts across the traffic in a hurry, we can either honk with anger we see can just stop, be tolerant and give way with a smile. We can try to push through a crowd with desperation at a billing counter or decide to be patient and stand calm in a queue. When someone hurts us, we can either choose to take revenge or give forgiveness. It is ultimately our attitude that makes a difference in our life. It can make our life feel happier or feel stressed and irritated.

A good attitude is a result of our good virtues, like patience, tolerance, kindness, concern, empathy, forgiveness and magnanimity. So, when we have a positive attitude we not only make life better for ourselves, but we make it better for everyone around us.

So, next time you are unhappy. Ask yourself, “Is something wrong with my attitude?” The answer might be there.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com