In Search of Unconditional Love

In Search of Unconditional Love

One of the terms, we often tend to hear these days is “Unconditional love”. Unconditional love is a love that is given to someone without any conditions or expectations. This made me to ponder, as to does something like that really exist. I started exploring different relationships, were man searches for this “Unconditional love.”

The first thought that came to my mind, was Mother’s love. We feel a mother’s love special, because she cares for us, despite all the inconvenience she has to go through. There is a great element of sacrifice. However, if we look deeper into it, even a mother’s love has a long-term reciprocal benefit, of safety and protection as an intention. We can also observe that in many families, mother’s show favouritism and can be biased in treatment of different children. So, this cannot be totally called unconditional love.

The next is one’s Spouse. Many people hope to find unconditional love from their life partner, but often meet with disappointment, as it doesn’t meet their expectation. It is because marital love is reciprocal in nature. Which means, you need to give love, in order to get love. So, the love here is transactional love and cannot be called unconditional love.

 

Another place, people commonly go to is their Friends. Friends are fun to be with, because they are less judgemental in nature. So, sometimes it feels like a place where we can experience unconditional love and understanding. But there too when there is no balance of give and take, or due to acts of negligence, loss of trust or due to misunderstanding, relationship can turn sour. We have seen close friends, turning into revengeful foes. So, unconditional love, is not found here too.

Some people assume to experience unconditional love, from their Pets. People resort to having pets, such as dogs. They are faithful to their masters and is so excited to see their master when they return home. They exhibit their longing, by wagging the tail, cuddling their faces on the laps, sniffing and licking etc. However, this too lasts, only till the master serves it food. Once that is done, their excitement fades away and they go about doing the own things. So, this too cannot be seen as an Unconditional love, that sustains for long.

Some people go in search of unconditional love to Spiritual leaders in Ashrams, Monasteries or Missionaries, but this again is purely religion based or based on some spiritual discipline, which disciples are expected to follow, failing which they are thrown out.

When everything fails, we take respite in God. We often liken the love of God, as unconditional love. We often say God is love or Love is God. According to me Love and God, both are a belief, and that is why it is easier to compare both. We tend to say Love is a divine feeling. The divine feeling is used as metaphor to define love, which is an abstract experience, difficult to explain. Still there is no rational behind this, to be called an unconditional love.

 

Love is a perceived feeling, and it can be different for different people. This led me to think, that unconditional love is just an idea and not a possibility.

However, when the thought of the love shown by a stranger, struck my mind, I felt that was the closest to unconditional love. Let me validate this with an example. Let’s say, you meet with a road accident and some stranger who spots it, rushes to your rescue, he takes you to the nearby hospital, admits you and in sometime disappears from the scene. His only intention was to save the life and there was no other expectation. That is unconditional love.

We can experience the love of strangers in different ways - it could be just a warm smile during one of our difficult day, it could be someone donating blood hearing of a  requirement, a person who helps to off load a heavy luggage from a fellow traveller,  someone helping an old person who is finding it difficult to cross a busy street,  food served by a hotelier when you are hungry, though he knows you don’t have the money to pay for it. There are so many such random acts of kindness we come across from strangers. All these acts are evidence of unconditional love. There is a saying, “God couldn’t be everywhere, that is why he created angels”. To me the strangers who help, in difficult times are those wandering angels.

Love is what sustains life. Believe in love, Believe in life.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

 CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

 Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

 Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com