Let not your labels become your limitations

Have you ever come across people, who say things like:

•          I studied in a Tamil medium school, so I can’t speak English.
•          I come from a conservative family, so I am a shy type.
•          I come for a rural background, so I don’t have a good exposure.

There are so many such statements we hear in our day-to-day life, and we empathetically accept the same. But if we look into this deeply, it is more of a psychological issue rather than a real issue. All these are just the many labels, one has subconsciously bought into, in their childhood.

There are so many such statements we hear in our day-to-day life, and we empathetically accept the same. But if we look into this deeply, it is more of a psychological issue rather than a real issue. All these are jus the many labels, one has subconsciously bought into, in their childhood.

There is a concept called Self Fulfilling Prophecy. It is a process through which one’s expectation leads to its own confirmation. So, we become what we believe or do only the things we think we are capable of doing. It is all in our mind. It has a positive side and negative  side to it. On the positive side, it is empowering and enabling, whereas on the negative side it becomes self-limiting and disabling.  Our labels can become our limitations. This is the impact of labelling.

Now let me, explain this with an interesting analogy, of the childhood conditioning of an Elephant.  We all know that the Elephant is a mighty animal, but still we see that it is made to stand in a particular place, by fastening it with a small metal chain. With its size and strength, the Elephant can easily break away from this chain, if it tries a little harder, but still, it doesn’t. Can you guess, why it is so?  It is because of its childhood conditioning.  The chain was fastened to its legs, when it was small and every time, it tried to move it felt the chain holding it back and so was not able to move. After years of conditioning, the Elephant concludes that it cannot break away from this chain and so stays wherever it is, even after growing up. Though it is a simple story, there is a deep message for all of us. It is because, it is the same type of conditioning that happens to humans too.

This conditioning happens to humans, in the form of labels, which is either given to them by someone else or by themselves. So, we have to be conscious about what we tell ourselves and others.

So, let us start with ourselves. What are the labels you have given to yourself? For instance, I have given the following labels to myself, and it is still difficult to outgrow - I have a poor handwriting; I am a slow reader, I speak too fast and so on. These are some of the many labels, I have been living with since my childhood and over a period of time, these labels have become so deeply rooted strong, they have become my comfortable excuses too. I am well aware that if I stop making these excuses and take extra effort, I can overcome all these, but at some point, of time we all learn to live with our limitations, rather than taking efforts to overcome it.

The next thing we have to be cautious about is, what we tell others, especially our own children. Our children believe and trust us so much, that they can be easily influenced by what we say. So, by calling a child as lazy, shabby, or dull we are not helping them to be any better. We are just making it easier for them to accept that as an excuse and continue to live their life, that way. There are a lot of things, we unintentionally tell our children without realizing its long-term implications. And these words become their limiting beliefs. So, in spite of growing up as an adult and being able to challenge and update that belief, they tend to keep validating it by believing in their childhood labels. This in turn leads to a lot of complexes, which limits their ability to volunteer and take up opportunities.

So, how do we overcome this? With some self-introspection, we can become aware of our labels and challenge them instead of using them as excuses, that is limiting our growth. We need to realize that every shortcoming can be overcome through some formal training and practice. For example, No one is a born public speaker, yet many people learn the art of public speaking and fine tune it with practice. It is true some people are naturally gifted, but that doesn’t mean public speaking is reserved only to those selected few. Anyone who takes the effort to learn and practice, can develop the skills, they wish to acquire.

So do you want to continue being a victim of your own labels or do you want to emerge as a victor from these labels? The choice is yours.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

 Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

 Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

 Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com