Emotional Safety – A Priority

In 2006, I went to Finland on a month long trip, as a part of the Rotary Group Study Exchange programme. This gave me an opportunity to stay with the Rotarian families there. One of my observations about how they handle their kids was insightful to me and would like to share it with the readers.

One of the families I stayed with was a couple who had two young boys aged 8 and 10.In the weekends, they go out as family to public parks or open places where their kids can play. So, I accompanied them on one of the weekends. The moment the kids got out of the car, they wore on their skating shoes and started dashing through the public roads, without any sense of fear. That fearlessness was instantly shocking to me, because in a similar situation in India we will not allow the kids to run or play on the roads, as we feel it is unsafe, with the public traffic. But there, I found that their parents were totally unruffled and actually cheerful to see them playing like that.  I realized that the parents are not too concerned about the physical safety of their kids, because the society and people in general were very safe and polite. They have good road sense and always gave priority for pedestrians, cyclists and kids. So, they really don’t have to worry whether their child will be safe or not.

 

There was another incident, where the teacher of their kids visited their house. I understood that in Finland, it is common for teachers to visit parents and for parents to visit teachers in their homes as well. Being a less populous country and with no social stigma, everyone seems to be friendly with each other. So, I was just keen to understand what the parents and teachers talk about, when they meet. Here again I found something interesting and surprising too.  They were discussing about everything in general, except how their kids are faring in studies. When the focus of discussion turned towards their children, they were discussing about the emotional wellness of the kids, such as how happy and cheerful they were at school; how they are getting along with other kids and things that related more with the emotions of the kid, rather than the academics.

This made me realize that people there, seemed to be more concerned about the emotional Safety of their kids, more than the physical Safety (which they seem to take for granted).  There, it seems to be an unwritten rule that “Physical Safety is a social responsibility whereas emotional Safety is the responsibility of the Parents and Teachers.”

 

We all know that the education system in Finland is considered the best in the world. I think the education system is not just about the syllabus or methodology, but their overall approach to education. This informal parent – teacher meeting, which I have shared above, where they discussed about the emotional wellness, seems to be a highlight. I think, it is the type of understanding that is shared by the parents and teachers, in bringing up the child is what makes their education system, truly special. 

 

Now compare this with the Indian context. Don’t we find that, we are more concerned about the physical safety of the child rather than their emotional safety? We take care of their health and safety needs, but neglect their emotional needs. It is sad to see that sometimes, parents and teachers cause emotional hurt to children, by using abusive words, in the name of correcting the children. This doesn’t work. It only backfires in a bad way.

 

Emotional Safety in kids include trustworthiness, confidentiality, not putting them down in front of others, confidence building measures through use of positive affirmation and appreciation.

 

Let’s evolve, to make the emotional safety of our kids, our priority too.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

  Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

  Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

  Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com