Emotional Safety – A Priority
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One of the families I
stayed with was a couple who had two young boys aged 8 and 10.In the weekends,
they go out as family to public parks or open places where their kids can play.
So, I accompanied them on one of the weekends. The moment the kids got out of
the car, they wore on their skating shoes and started dashing through the
public roads, without any sense of fear. That fearlessness was instantly
shocking to me, because in a similar situation in India we will not allow the
kids to run or play on the roads, as we feel it is unsafe, with the public
traffic. But there, I found that their parents were totally unruffled and
actually cheerful to see them playing like that. I realized that the parents are not too
concerned about the physical safety of their kids, because the society and people
in general were very safe and polite. They have good road sense and always gave
priority for pedestrians, cyclists and kids. So, they really don’t have to
worry whether their child will be safe or not.
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There was another incident, where the teacher of their
kids visited their house. I understood that in Finland, it is common for
teachers to visit parents and for parents to visit teachers in their homes as
well. Being a less populous country and with no social stigma, everyone seems
to be friendly with each other. So, I was just keen to understand what the
parents and teachers talk about, when they meet. Here again I found something
interesting and surprising too. They were
discussing about everything in general, except how their kids are faring in
studies. When the focus of discussion turned towards their children, they were
discussing about the emotional wellness of the kids, such as how happy and
cheerful they were at school; how they are getting along with other kids and
things that related more with the emotions of the kid, rather than the academics.
This made me realize that
people there, seemed to be more concerned about the emotional Safety of their
kids, more than the physical Safety (which they seem to take for granted). There, it seems to be an unwritten rule that “Physical Safety is a social responsibility
whereas emotional Safety is the responsibility of the Parents and Teachers.”
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We all know that the
education system in Finland is considered the best in the world. I think the
education system is not just about the syllabus or methodology, but their
overall approach to education. This informal parent – teacher meeting, which I
have shared above, where they discussed about the emotional wellness, seems to
be a highlight. I think, it is the type of understanding that is shared by the
parents and teachers, in bringing up the child is what makes their education
system, truly special.
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Now compare this with the
Indian context. Don’t we find that, we are more concerned about the physical
safety of the child rather than their emotional safety? We take care of their
health and safety needs, but neglect their emotional needs. It is sad to see
that sometimes, parents and teachers cause emotional hurt to children, by using
abusive words, in the name of correcting the children. This doesn’t work. It
only backfires in a bad way.
Emotional Safety in kids
include trustworthiness, confidentiality, not putting them down in front of
others, confidence building measures through use of positive affirmation and
appreciation.
Let’s evolve, to make the emotional safety of our kids, our priority too.
D. Senthil Kannan,
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