Staying Neutral

One of the toys that has fascinated me in my childhood days is the Tanjore doll. These traditional handmade toys made of terra cotta, wobble or oscillate when touched and continue to move for a while and then returns back to its original position. As a child, I was curious to know how it works, but now I realize more than the physics behind the movement of this toy, what really matters to me is the philosophy these dolls can teach me – “No matter how much we are pushed by exterior pressure to sway between two opposite opinions, we need to find our sense of balance and come back to the centre position”.

Yes, I would like to share some of my thoughts on the ideology of staying neutral. There are a number of situations in life, where we are expected to take a stance. When there is an issue, people will ask us what is your stand? Are you in favour of or against the situation?  In most cases it is easy, because we have our opinion on everything and based on our understanding of a situation, we take a side. What is truly difficult is to stay neutral.

This leads to a question, why should we stay neutral? Don’t I have the right to my own opinion?  Of course, all of us have the right to have our own opinion. But when this opinion is triggering some social action, we have to be doubly cautious and socially responsible.

Recently, there was a protest against an industry in Tuticorin, which led to a law outbreak, leading to a clash between police and protest, which got worsened by police firing and a number of people were killed. There was so much of public agitation and unrest in the town. Photos, Video recordings, Audio & Text message, Memes & Trolls were circulated in social media and it went viral so fast. It created a panic everywhere and everybody saw something and believed something. The situation got worse, as this sort of social media content spread like wild fire. It was difficult to ascertain the real happenings or make a right judgement. At such stages of confusion, the ideal thing to do, is to stay neutral.

To say, “I don’t know” is a good answer too. So, while it is common and natural for all of us to have opinions, let us have an ear to listen to what everyone has to say, without rubbing off their thoughts and opinions. Let us remember that every story has 3 different versions. My version of the story, Your version of the story and the real story. Most often we tend to defend our own version of the story, because that is what we see, hear or judge from our past experiences or limited understanding of the situation, but as the tamil dictum goes:

கண்ணால் பார்ப்பதும் பொய்

What we see is a lie,

காதால்  கேட்பதும் பொய்

What we hear is a lie,

தீர விசாரிப்பதே மெய்

Only by enquiry can we know the truth

 

Staying neutral, is about willing to listen to both sides of a story without any bias. By staying neutral, we may still not know the truth, but we will not be a cause to spread any false news, which could be potentially dangerous. So, when it comes to our personal life, family or career let us take our stand, but when it is concerns a social issue, let’s try to stay neutral. Staying neutral therefore means having a level headedness, like the Tanjore doll, which even when pushed to take sides, comes back to the centre.

மெய் பொருள் காண்பது அறிவு.

 

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Are you a Phubber?

Have you heard the word “Phubbing”?  Phubbing is a relatively new word that has found its way into the dictionary in May 2012.  So, what actually is Phubbing? The name seems to come from the combination of two words PHone + snUBBING. So, what does this mean? It simply means “Ignoring the person in front of you, in favour of your smart phone”.

How does it feel, when a person who is talking with you or discussing something, all of a sudden turns away his attention from you and starts looking at the Smartphone? Don’t we feel hurt or insulted? Though we may not say this, we definitely feel secluded or isolated for the moment, which is certainly not a good feeling. Most often it is not intentional to hurt someone, but it is an acquired habit, which can damage a relationship.

Don’t we see this scenario quite often, ever since the emergence of smart phones? We seem to be spending more time interacting with our outside world, either through call, email, texting, whatsapp or social media such as Facebook or Instagram. As a result, we are hugely losing out on personal contact or rather eye to eye communication.

And as a result, the world has got a lot more connected but people become more disconnected, losing out on conversation and real human interaction. We live in such a digitally saturated world that it’s affecting our relationships.

However, with the change in trend it is difficult to stay away from our smart phones. Our smart phones have become an all in one gadget, which help us to get so many things done at the touch of a button.

So, how do we balance our needs to stay connected both online and offline. Here are a few tips, to avoid phubbing?

• Disable non essential notifications: One of the reasons we tend to look into the phone time and again, is because of FOMO ( Fear of Missing Out). We don’t want to miss out an important update or happening. While it may be important to get a message notification, on a bank transaction, you probably don’t have to know the instant someone likes one of your Facebook photos or sends a direct message in Instagram. Minimize the pings and dings by turning your phone on silent whenever you can.

• Ask for Excuse: If there is a need for you to use the smart phone, urgently, it would sound polite to ask for excuse and get the work done. But once you are finished with that, make sure you get back to the person, with a simple sorry.

• Designate device-free zones: Leave your phone or tablet in a different room so that you’re not tempted to scroll through your social media or browse the net, when you’re trying to spend time with other people in the room. Dedicate times or events where everyone in the family leaves their devices behind. Say, Meal time, Before School or the last hour before bedtime or whatever.

Establishing boundaries around how often you allow yourself to be glued to your smart phone will help you avoid potentially hurtful social behaviour and it is good for your relationships.

By following this approach, we can stay on top of the latest tech trends, be active on social media, use your phone to manage your calendar, and still lend your attention and respect to those around you when it matters most. 

 

     D. Senthil Kannan,

     Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

     Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

     Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com