Are We Happy in a Hostile World?

During one of my trips to Kodaikanal for a JCI training event, I went out for a morning walk around the lake, with a group of friends. As we were walking, I saw a newly married couple, who were clicking photos of each other. The lady was posing for some snaps while the man was clicking and vice versa. I felt that they would like to have a photo together. (These were the days, when people did not find selfies). So, I went and asked them, “Would you like to have a photo of you both together?” They both readily blushed and gave me the camera, and posed for an intimate photo. They felt very glad and thanked me. I too felt happy that I had made someone smile. These little acts of kindness, not only brings joy to the receiver, but to the giver too.

As I continued to walk, I started contemplating within myself, “Why was it difficult for them to ask for help?” Perhaps, any passer-by would have willingly done this small favour, if they had just asked, “Can you please take a photo of us”. Why was that they waited for someone to volunteer? This is when I realized that we have started to become more and more hostile, towards the people around us. Is it because of fear or is it because of ego? The reasons can be many, but looking at closely I feel, by and large we have stopped trusting people. We have become so suspicious of the people around us, that even if someone smiles at us, we are thinking what could be the person’s motive. Well, I recognize the amount of theft and crime happening in the society, by trusting the wrong people. The amount of negative headlines and pathetic stories of people being cheated, which we read almost daily in the newspaper has put people in a state of frenzy and a mode of alert.

When you are in a railway station, you could have heard announcements or seen notice boards with the message, “Don’t take food from strangers”. So, when we travel on a train, if even someone offers us some of their homemade snacks, out of love, we tend to reject it. Well, we have seen in newspapers, incidents of people being robbed or kidnapped, by strangers offering sweets or snacks with sedative substance.

While travelling on the roads, especially through the villages it has been a practice, that when we were not sure of the route, we stop, pull down our shutter and ask someone standing there, as to how to go to a particular place. The person happily tells us the route and feels a sense of fulfilment that he has guided someone. But today, we depend on the GPS in our smart phone, to find the route rather than asking people.

With long stretches of highways in place and with traffic speeding at 120+, even if we witness a roadside accident, we continue our journey, without caring to help, because we are afraid of the police formalities and other consequences. However, our timely help could have saved a life.

I certainly feel that, in the name of being safe, we have become selfish. We are losing out on the human touch. We have lost connect with the people around us. We do not know who lives in our next door. All our relationships have become superficial in nature as we find it difficult to trust anyone. In our endeavour not to be cheated by wrong people, we end up losing the opportunities of getting connected to a great number of good people.

While there are many reasons for us to be cautious about our personal safety, it also does not feel meaningful to live such a hostile life, where we do not able to trust our fellow human beings. Amidst so much of hostility, let us care to smile and converse with strangers with good intentions, and at the same time exercise prudent caution, so that no one takes us for a ride.

   D. Senthil Kannan,

    Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

    Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

    Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Self Made Man!  Really?

A dialogue from one of Ajith’s Tamil movie - “Billa 2”, goes like this. Ajith says, “En vazhkaiyila, ovaru naalum, ovaru nodiyum, naana sedhukinathu, which literally translates to, “I have sculpted every moment of my life, all by myself”. This dialogue gets huge applause and whistles from his fans at the movie hall. As I walked out of the theatre, I could over hear his fans endorsing this dialogue, by saying,  ”Yes, it is true. Ajith is a self-made man”. I felt glad that this was a good message the actor has conveyed to his fans, to think in the lines of taking 100% responsibility for their life.

As a member of CII, I have had the opportunity to attend some of the ‘Star Trek’ sessions, wherein successful businessmen are invited to come and share their success story. This event is generally a crowd puller, because people are excited about the opportunity to meet a VIP face to face and ask questions that would guide them in their growth process. What I have invariably noticed, during their speeches is that most of them have come from a very poor background or from a remote village where there was no infrastructure,  such as schools, hospitals, connecting roads, electricity, drinking water etc. Most of them did not have a strong financial backing or educational backing, but it was their mere grit and determination, that has triggered them to achieve such great heights. Quite often, they end the speech with a silent proclamation, “I am a self-made man”. Then, there goes a thunderous applause to appreciate them and cheer them up. When we hear that someone is a self-made man, it creates within us a sense of awe and places them on a high pedestal and makes us to look up at them as role models.

I sincerely bow down with great respect to such people who have toiled all the way up from scratch. The rags to riches story, never fails to inspire me or for that matter anyone, who is aspiring at achieving great heights in life.

In parallel, one more thought runs in my mind. It may sound critical, but it is a genuine question that lingers in my mind. Is it possible for someone to be self-made? By proclaiming, that we are a self-made person, are we not discounting the contribution of so many people, who have directly or indirectly, actively or passively helped us to achieve what we have achieved in our life?

Right from our parents, who introduced us to this world. They may have not given us good education, but without them we would not have be existing in this world today. Especially in a country like India, where infanticide is so high, if we have survived, it is because they cared to make sure we were fended enough to live.

What about our siblings?  It is in the nest called family did we learn to care and share. In some cases by sibling support or in some cases by sibling rivalry, we would have been motivated to grow.

How about the contribution of teachers? When I say teachers, I am not just talking just about our school or college teachers, but all those who came into our life to teach us a lesson. More often, I have realized that the greatest of our teacher, come to us in the form of an enemy. They teach us lessons, we will never forget.

How about our true friends, who stood by us during the time of distress? Even if they did not give money to help, they would have at least given some good leads, genuine advice or moral boosting words.

If not anyone else, how about God or the Supreme Power? If not for His divine blessings or invisible interventions, how would we have been, to overcome the challenges posed upon us?.

May be we could say, that we had a difficult past, before reaching this level, but to say that, I am a self-made man, does not sound justified to me.

To sum it up, we personally have a greater admiration for people who have the humility to accept that they have been successful, by the contribution of so many people in their lives, rather than taking all the credits to themselves. I am sure that when someone gives credit for their success, to their parents, their family, their teachers, their co-workers, their employees, or whosoever who genuinely deserves it;  they will not be looked down as insignificant, but looked up with a higher regard of significance.

   D. Senthil Kannan,

   Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

   Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

   Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com