Owning Our Mistakes, Can Change Us for the Better

Owning Our Mistakes, 

Can Change Us for the Better

Blaming the world for what is not going right and praising ourselves for what is going right, is something we Indians have learned from our childhood days.

 

When you were a very small kid, somewhere between the toddling and running stage, if at any time you fell down and cried, your mother would have picked you up, comforted you and in order to pacify you and stop you from crying, she would have acted as if she was beating the floor on which you tripped, twice or thrice, saying that “I have beaten the floor, now you don’t cry”. Somewhere deep in our mind a message was engrained that tripping down was not our fault, but the fault of the floor. Because the floor was punished, when actually we made the mistake of running carelessly, our mind learned whatever happens to us, is a plot of an external force and not our own mistake. This act of dis-owning our mistakes keep continuing in our growth stage as well.

 

For example, while we are walking and we accidentally stamped over a thorn, we would say, “the thorn pricked me” whereas an English man would say, “I ran over a thorn”. Just think of it. Is it not true?

A few more similar examples:

• 
  When we miss a train, we brood “the train left before I arrived” rather than saying “I was late to catch the train”.

• When our shirt does not fit, we say “the shirt has become short”, instead of saying “I have outgrown the shirt”.

• When a pen slips from your hand, we say “the pen fell down” instead of “I dropped the pen”.

It is time we learn to own responsibility, for our mistakes. It is only by owning our mistakes, we can change for the better. It will give us an opportunity to assess where and how we went wrong, and give us a way ahead plan. Because in the end of the day, what the world will count is not the number of your excuses but the amount of your achievement.

 

These are just a few of the many wrong statements we use in our day to day life. These communication patterns which we form unconsciously, affects the way we perceive life and our life situations. This in turn has affected our growth and success rate in our life. As we tend, to justify our failures, by blaming the external situations, we don’t genuinely try to understand what really went wrong, when we face a failure. Unless we develop an unbiased view and try to figure out, what went wrong, we cannot find a positive solution to the problem. The problem will keep repeating, again and again.

 

Robin Sharma, in his book “The Saint, the Surfer and the CEO” gives a very thought provoking statement which goes like this. “Life is a growth school. Everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason and there is some lesson that life is trying to teach you. We need to quickly learn the lesson, failing which life will continue to bring the same problem again and again until you have learnt the lesson.”

 

 D. Senthil Kannan,

 Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

 Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

 Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Driving re-orientation for the Indian Drivers

One of the appreciable developments this country is witnessing in the recent years, is the changing face of the Indian Roads. We see long stretches of  4 track and 6 track highways being laid, throughout the length and breadth of the country, facilitating a lot of road traffic.

 

With every boon, comes a curse. Similarly, the curse behind the boon of good roads is rash and speed driving. No doubts great roads are built for the sake of enhancing commuting speed, but what we cannot afford to ignore is the safety aspect. As the highways are getting constructed, the unclear ‘take diversion’ boards and uncompleted roads, by itself pose a threat to the traveller’s safety. The highways are not yet insulated from pedestrians, cyclist and cattle’s. At the type of speeds you can do on these roads, the probability of someone surviving a road accident is minimal. While bye-pass flyovers have been built over many towns, there is still a lot of areas we see human intrusion. 

 

Another frightening reality of the highways is the pilgrims who go on “Paadha yatra” to temples, walking on the highways. Especially in night, they are almost invisible owing to heavy lights penetrating our eyes from the opposite direction.  Though it can hurt the religious sentiments, of a few, I think a strict rule should be enforced not permitting pedestrians to use the highway. This is in view of their own safety. Just like a rule of wearing helmet and seat belt is introduced for the traveller’s safety, if a rule like this is introduced, it can take care of the pedestrian safety.

 

One of the strange signals, I often notice is that the drivers put on the right indicator, as a sign of allowing the vehicle behind to overtake. This is in total contrast to what we have been taught - use your right indicator, when you are going to turn right and use your left indicator when you are going to turn left. I don’t know from where these drivers learnt this wrong signaling. Somehow it has got messed up and what is more disheartening is as days go by, more and more people are following the same trend. If these mistakes are not corrected, people will tend to assume it is the right behavior and continue to do so. And at some point of time, this may become the default rule.

 

My friend Prabu, told me that there is a simple thumb rule to using indicators, while driving and that is, as a driver you are expected to just indicate what you are going to do, and not indicate what you want others to do. If people can remember this thumb rule, I think a lot of confusion could be saved.

 

In short, the roads look like a jungle, where every encounter is threatening. There is absolutely no peace of mind, for the traveller.  Every moment on the highway, looks risky. So how do we get over this dangerous phase of transition? Well, I guess the only way could be by re-educating the road users, i.e the drivers.

 

When computers were introduced in India 15 years back, it was totally new and not many people knew how to operate it. The government had to take great effort in educating people, as to how computers should be used to enhance work efficiency.  Similarly, now that the new multi track highways are constructed, there is need to educate the drivers how to use these roads. The Indian driver is not used to these types of roads, and it is obvious that he does not know how to use it. So, I think it is the duty of the Government, to educate the people, how to drive in these highways, through the many RTO’s located in each city.

 

The drivers need to be educated that, on a four track road, you need to always keep left and overtake in the right.  On a six track or a futuristic eight track road, every track  becomes a different speed lane and you need to stick to the lane based on the speed at which you are driving.  Now that the drivers are not aware, they seem to be happily using the plenty of available road space, as they wish. There is no system followed in maintaining lanes or overtaking, which could be dangerous and prove fatal.

 

In my opinion, I think the RTO should call for a revalidation of all existing driving licenses. In the process of revalidating the license, the license holder/driver has to be taught how to use the new type of roads, for his safety and for the safety of fellow road users. They not only need to be updated on these information, but also taught to develop a caring and friendly attitude towards fellow road users.

 

Let us not pray, but work, for road safety.

    D. Senthil Kannan,

    Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

    Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

    Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

Security Check

I was at the Delhi Airport a few days back, when I had to stand in a long queue for the routine security check. As I was standing, I looked around to see how much of congestion this security checking procedure was causing.

It was an early morning flight for which I had to wake up quiet early, get ready and find a cab to reach the airport atleast 2 hour ahead of schedule.

While, I was getting a little restless, with this snail speed security procedure, my mind started to ponders to as “Why is it we have to come to the airport so early, while we can rush to the railway station or the bus stop, even at the last moment?” It is because of this time taking security check, where we need to go through an entire gamut of process, which includes showing our id card and ticket before we enter the airport, then getting the check-in baggage scanned and sealed, proceeding to pick the boarding card and moving towards the security check gate, where our hand baggage gets scanned, and we are asked to remove our laptops and mobiles to be send separately through the scanner. (In some countries, the passenger is also asked to remove his belt and shoes, which also passes through the scanning machine). After which we walk through the scanning metal frame and being frisked by the security officer, before he could stamp a security seal in our boarding card and make us, “Flight worthy”.

So, I was just thinking, “Why is that we need to go through SECURITY CHECK  procedure at the first place.” Well, the answer is obvious. It is in common interest of all and primarily to ensure the safety of the passengers. As the safety of everyone is important, everyone wilfully goes through this systematic process, to ensure they travel safely. When I am being checked, I am also sure that all the other passengers are equally being checked which gives me the peace of mind, that no untoward event would happen in the course of my travel. Probably, it is the prayer and wish of everyone to travel safe.

I was just guessing, how many flight hijacks or terrorist attacks would have happened on an aeroplane, over the years. Probably a few, inspite of all these security checks.

Looking at it from the other way, how many hijacks or attacks have been possibly avoided owing to the security checks. The answer is unknown. It could be a lot more or a few more, but not something which we can take a chance of guessing.

If we were to think about this as a percentage it would be hardly negligible, but even one negative incident, can cause the lives of many innocent people. And the life of everyone is important.

While we cannot leave the aspect of security to chance, undoubtedly it is one of the annoying experiences, every passenger faces every time, he/she makes a flight travel. Moreover, the collective amount of time lost, by all passengers is so huge. The amount of money, spent on such security measures are too high. In an age, where we work on a time – productivity matrix, this is a huge chunk of time that goes waste on an unproductive task.

It is such an irony of life, that the neagtive intentions of a few people, results in so much of disturbace to the common man. While I don't forsee a solution to this problem, I only pray and wish a simpler and quicker system evolves, to take care of this security check aspect. Even more ideal would be a day, when everyone is in peace with each other, that there is not a need for a security check, at all.

    D. Senthil Kannan,

    Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

    Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

    Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

My Role Model Hero

 

My Role Model Hero

I feel a compulsion within myself to express my admiration for this great versatile actor, of whom I have been a great fan since my childhood – Padma Bhushan Kamal Hasssan.

This handsome, dynamic and ever youthful actor, has always deserved a Oscar, but has not even one to his credit, till date. Yet he is not demotivated. He keeps trying. He is innovative. He works on new ideas. He wants to bring the latest in world cinema to the Tamil audience. His movie “Vikram”, was the nearest to James Bond movie in Tamil film industry, those days.  He is a man of bold attempts, who does not get bogged down by criticism and does not fly too high on praise. He knows the balance. He is a man, who is so passionate about his chosen career – Cinema. It would not be high sounding if I say, he eats cinema, sleeps cinema, breathes cinema.

Cinema has been a very powerful medium, for ages, much before television crept in. His movies have influenced people greatly, not only by the different hair styles he keeps or the fashionable dresses he wears, but by the variety of roles he plays.

Kamal has not been just a role model to many, but many roles he has played in his films are worth being modeled. I personally, have been greatly influenced by his films. I would not hesitate to say that my life, has been greatly moulded by this silver screen hero. To start with, I aspired to do a MBA abroad, after seeing his movie “Thoongaathe Thambi Thoongaathae”, wherein he plays the role of a foreign return. His movie “Unnal Mudiyum Thambi” triggered the natural instinct in me to do something good for my society. “Thevar Magan” was yet another film, which reinforced my beliefs in doing some good for my home town. “Anbae Sivam” was a classic portrayal of good human relationship. There are many such films, but these movies in particular have created a real life impact, on me.  Some of the values that are deeply rooted in me, has got to do something with the morals, I imbibed from his films.

In real life too, there are so many qualities I have admired in him. He was the first person in the cinema industry, who had all his fan clubs converted into service clubs. No matter how good these clubs serve, I am sure his intentions were good. He propagates the cause of blood donation and organ donation, by being a living example. He is a full body donor. He practices what he preaches.

He is a perfectionist. You can see perfection, in the role he plays. I have heard that he spends a lot of time, observing people, whose role he is about to play. Like, if he has to play the role of a mentally handicapped person, he spends several days watching mentally ill people, their actions, re-actions, physical movement etc. Many a times, he criticizes himself, for his own flaws, which I think is a great quality, that has taken him so close to be a perfectionist.

In spite of all his greatness, he is so humble. I had the opportunity of meeting him in a cinema shooting, when I was in my college days. He was shooting for the movie, “Sathya”.  I shook hands with him, but I had no words to say. I was just spell bound when I saw the shadow image in reality. It is the awe feeling, anyone of us feel when we meet someone, who we have admired from a far distance.

I  don't know whether it is befitting to call him a "Universal Hero", as he is fondly called by his fans. But undoubtedly, he is a hero Tamil Cinema can be proud of in his century, not just for his acting skills, but also for the technological innovations, by which he has taken Tamil Cinema to global standards.

D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com