The Likers Club

Facebook has changed the way we communicate and interact with friends. It has opened up vast opportunities to connect with old friends and also make new friends online. In this fashion, Facebook has enlarged our world to a great extent.

It is not something surprising today, for us to be more familiar with people whom we periodically interact on facebook, rather than our close set of friends and relatives, who are not on facebook. It is because a lot of sharing is happening in this virtual world, as compared to the real world. Those who are not in the list of our facebook contacts don’t get to know as much as our friends who are in facebook.

For instance, during the days when we were clicking photos in film roll camera, we anxiously waited for the photo to be processed and printed. We then put them on an album and when our friends or relatives, came home, we showed it to them and took pleasure in explaining each photo in detail. The people who viewed the photos also took a keen interest in knowing more about the event or place. But now, things have changed. You click the photo on your mobile phone camera, press the share button and in seconds it is on our facebook page. Within 10 seconds, you get a ‘like’ for the photo or a comment such as  ‘nice’ , ‘wow’ , ‘super’ from your facebook friend. This instant gratification makes people happy and encourages them to share more and more of what is happening in their lives.

How often have you posted a message or photo, in your facebook page and eagerly waited to see how many ‘likes’ you get?  How happy were you when you see that you have got a number of ‘likes’, for your post? It is a common happening in everyone’s life. The more contacts in your facebook list, the more chances for you of getting more likes. So, people keep expanding the list of contacts by adding friends, friends of friends and so on.

The good part of facebook, is that the majority of facebook users, could be categorized as, “The Likers Club”. Likers are those who are not very active in posting, but whenever they see a post on their wall they make sure to click the “Like” button. Pressing the ‘Like’ button does not necessarily mean that they like the post. It could just be a way of acknowledging that they have seen the post. So when this happens, the person who made the post feels happy. The Likers are the cheer bringers to the facebook world.

I was wondering how this concept of LIKE, motivates people to share more about themselves with others. This led me to a realization that people crave for recognition and they do not seem to be getting enough of it from the real world. Facebook is in a way, passively satisfying this need and this has to a great extent influenced the number of people getting into this social world.

“Is it safe to make friends with online strangers? Why should we make friends with people whom we hardly know? Why do we need to create a virtual world of friends, when there are so many friends in our real world? These sought of initial apprehensions are swiftly fading away, as more and more people have started to enjoy being ‘liked’ and earn recognition on facebook.  The more they get recognized, the more they want to share and this keeps growing. When you ‘like’ someone’s post, then the probability of you getting ‘like’ on your post to goes up.

Now imagine extending this likers club from the virtual world to a real world. Would the world not be a much happier place to live in? While we are happily sharing our ‘likes’ on the virtual world, what is stopping us from expressing our ‘likes’ in the real world?

How often have we told our mother or spouse that we liked the delicious food that they have made for us? How often have we told our children, that we like their polite behaviour, in a social gathering? How often have we told someone; I like your smile; I like your dress; I like your style; I like the way you walk; I like the way you express your thoughts, or something of that sort.

It is not that we don’t like, but we rarely express our like.  Thanks to Facebook, that it has brought in the culture of expressing our LIKE. Let us not limit this LIKE culture, only to our facebook circle but extend it to our near and dear ones. It would not only make them glad, but also motivate them to do things better.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

This Way, That Way or Your Way

I came across this interesting poem, titled, “The Paradoxical Commandments” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. An article worth re-reading, chewing and digesting this timeless wisdom.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered; Love them anyway.

 

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives; Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable; Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest mind; Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs; Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight; Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them; Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth; Give the world the best you have anyway.

 

There are two types of people in this world, the externally referenced and the internally referenced people.

 

The externally referenced people are those who constantly seek the approval of their family, their friends, their peers, their surrounding. For example, when they wear a new dress, they ask others does it go well on them; if they made a public speech, they ask some friends, did they speak well; when they make a decision, they look for a reassurance from someone. They are constantly looking for a feedback, for their actions.

 

The internally referenced people are those who make their own choice, irrespective of what others think or say. Whatever they feel that is good, they do it. Though they take feedbacks, they do not alter their behaviour, if they are not convinced within themselves.

 

Quiet interestingly, it has been observed that mostly, it is the internally referenced people who become leaders. It is those who possess a lot of internal conviction than external approval, who dare to become leaders. The people, who seek approval, lose their enthusiasm and vigour when someone gives a negative feedback. They are so much worried about external criticism, that they very often do not take a initiative. We all know that greatest of scientific findings were initially criticized, condemned or mocked upon, but it is only those who braved against these odds, have become successful.

 

We are all a blend of both the qualities, but the trait that dominates our persona, is what dictates our life.

 

This poem is a classical illustration, that no matter what others say about you, you got to believe in your own self and realize your authentic potential.

 

Let the goodness in us, forever continue, no matter whether the world appreciates it or not. Be good, not to please the world, but to please your own conscience.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com

TFTD – “Start your day with a positive thought" Happy day

 

TFTD 

“Start your day with a positive thought” 

Happy day

TFTD, acronym for “Thought for the day” is a daily quote I send out to my circle of friends and relatives through multiple modes such as SMS, Whatsapp and Facebook. I don’t remember the exact date, when I started this daily ritual. But I recall, that it was sometime in the later months of 2003, that  I started to send out a daily quote of inspiration or a nice thought to a handful number of my close set of  friends as an SMS. As time went on , I kept adding more and more people and today my TFTD reaches to atleast 2000 people. It does not stop there. This SMS gets forwarded by a number of my friends to their own circle of contacts and hence reaches out to a far greater number of people.

Sending out this TFTD every morning is something I love to do. The thought of being able to reach out to my friends and relatives with a nice thought, early in the morning, truly excites me. It is my way of saying, “Good morning” to my little world. Quite a number of days, I get some quick response such as “Well said, Very true, Perfect, Nice, Super, Apt for the day, I agree, I don’t agree or just a pictorial smiley or thumbs up”.  But, there are also many days, when I receive no response at all. But this has never deterred me from following this daily routine. It is a commitment, I have made to myself, and I do my best to send it every day.

So what keeps me motivated to do this, is the simple fact, that there has been a few sharing’s  of my friends, which made me realize that my TFTD has made a far greater impact in their lives than I could ever imagine. Many of them find my TFTD as a coincidence to what they are going through in life, at that point of time. Some even call me and ask, “Did you have me in mind, while sending today’s TFTD? Some tell me they eagerly wait for it. Some of my friends say that they store my TFTD and read it when they are feeling a little down. Some feel motivated, some feel solace and some just feel connected. In some way or other, it is a joy for me to know that my TFTD is making a positive impact in their life. Here are a few nice sharing’s of my friends, about the TFTD.

One of my very close friends, who encountered a close to death accident, received my TFTD on the following day, which said something like, ‘Life is short, make the best use of it’. He called me and said, “It was really an eye opener”. Another good friend of mine once called me and said, “I was holding a lot of grief and was finding it hard to let out. Your TFTD today, which said ‘It is OK to cry….’ triggered me to cry out my heart and I feel a lot better now. Thanks.”. One person in Mumbai, who receives my TFTD, forwarded by one of my friends, got my number and specifically called to thank me. He said. “Every morning, as soon as I receive your TFTD, I forward it to my customers. This has made my customers feel friendlier with me and they prefer doing business with me”. There are many such incidents, and every time I hear such a thing I feel so grateful to God for making me instrumental in reaching out to the right people with a right message at the right time.

Some ask me, from where do I get this unlimited stock of nice thoughts? With all humbleness, I accept that I am not the author of all these quotes. Though, some of them are self created, most of them are from the books I read, the quotes I see somewhere or  hear somewhere, some forwarded messages, some taken from internet, so on and so forth. The sources are many. The only criteria for its selection, is I should personally like it and to a good extent be agreeable with the thought.

For me, sending this daily TFTD has been a pleasure and will always continue to be. It serves as an reassurance to my belief, “Small effort … Big impact….”

  D. Senthil Kannan,

  Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

  Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

  Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com