Small Courtesies Matter

Some common words of courtesy, which finds usage in our day to day life, are, Please, Sorry and Thank You. These 3 simple words, when used appropriately can keep the relationships running smooth.But often, I find, when it comes to our close set of friends or family members, we tend to take them for granted. This comes from the belief system that, there is no need to be formal with close friends or family members, by saying sorry, thank you etc.

I have often heard this among my group of friends, “Common Yaar, don’t be so formal. You don’t have to say, Thank you for this. That is what friends are for”. Well, while it is nice to hear, that friends do not expect to be thanked, I still think it makes sense on our part to say, “Thank you”, when we feel thankful to someone for their help or kind gesture. Ofcourse, it is then left to them to take it or not. But let us not neglect to do our part.

My feeling on this is,  deep inside every one’s heart they are looking for these small positive strokes, but do not want to say, that they want it. That is the nature of us, humans. We contradict ourselves a number of times. We feel something, but say something else.

For instance, let us say the same friend did you a favour and you failed to thank him, deep in his heart he will feel, “I did such a big favour and he did not even call to say a simple, Thanks.” Is it not? So, why give way to assumptions and complicate relationships. Let us always say ‘Thank you’ or ‘Sorry’ when it is due. Similarly, when we are in the receiving end, let us learn to accept, these words of courtesy, with grace.

While it is important to be courteous, what is more important is our words of courtesy, should also be genuine. When we say a Thank you or a Sorry, let us mean it. Being courteous is not just an external act of kindness, but an inward transformation of being respectful to fellow human beings, irrespective of their social or economic background. It is a lifestyle transformation that has to become our second nature. 

To start with, we can practise these simple courtesies, with strangers. When we see people waiting to cross the road, let us slow down our car and allow them to cross. When we see children in the school bus, waving their hands at us, let us wave back in acknowledgement. While travelling in a crowded bus, if we see an elderly person standing, let us rise up and give our seat. When we enter a hotel and the doorman opens the door for us and wishes us good morning, let us reciprocate the greeting with a smile and wish him back good morning.

We need to ask ourselves, when was the last time, we thanked the people who are working for us. Many would say, that is what they get paid for. But, I personally think that more than the money, what keeps people working for us, is how we treat them.

It is a common sight in the Indian roads, to see commuters fighting head on over a minor issue, as to who was wrong. Though the person, who has wronged, knows he is wrong, he does not want to own it, because he does not want to cut a sorry figure in public. Many a times, a simple sorry or just a smile can set things straight. But we are conditioned to prove that we are right, rather than to accept that we as humans are bound to err.

Let us understand that small courtesies, really matters and make a big difference in the way we relate with people. Like a motor engine, which needs constant lubricating for a smooth drive on the road, Courtesies are the simple lubricants that we need to keep our relationships friction free.

 

 

 

 D. Senthil Kannan,

Managing Trustee, PALMS, Tuticorin.

Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com