Empathise to Evolve

There is a beautiful saying "Do unto others what you want them to do unto you". This is the basis of empathy. Once we understand how it feels like, we will be able think about ways in which we can make things better for them. Our level of sophistication in handling people, is determined by the level of our empathy. This is how humankind has evolved so far.

This is one of the very insightful articles, I got to read.

“Years ago, the anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture.  The student expected Mead to talk about clay pots, tools for hunting, grinding stones, or religious artifacts. Whereas Mead said that the first evidence of civilization was a 15,000-year-old fractured femur found in an archaeological site. A femur is the longest bone in the body, linking hip to knee. In societies without the benefits of modern medicine, it takes about six weeks of rest for a fractured femur to heal. This particular bone had been broken and had healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger; you cannot drink or hunt for food. Wounded in this way, you are meat for your predators. No creature survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. You are eaten first. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that another person has taken time to stay with the fallen, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended them through recovery. A healed femur indicates that someone has helped a fellow human, rather than abandoning them to save their own life.”

This is a clear indicator of how the human race, has evolved due to empathy, making it the strongest living species on the planet.

Now, let's take this into context to see how we are evolving further in this direction.

We often talk about inclusiveness. But are we truly inclusive in our spirits?  It is a question to ponder.  We cannot think about inclusiveness, until and unless we develop the ability to empathise with someone.

Please hear me clear. I said empathise and not sympathise. While sympathising, is about feeling sorry for someone and doing what you could to help them, Empathising is about trying to understand someone and being sensitive to them.

So, how can we become more empathetic?

One good method to understand and empathise with others, is to just mentally and emotionally swap roles, with the person you would like to empathise with and see how you would think and feel. For example, when you are driving a car, think of yourself as being the pedestrian on the road. How irritable would you feel to hear the honking of the car? How unsafe would you feel when someone speeds through and overtakes you? How much of discomfort would you experience, when you must push up your speed, to cope up with a fellow commuter, to just stay safe on the road?

While this may be an easy to relate example, it may still be difficult to understand what is beyond our experience. For instance, we might not be able to relate to the physical or psychological experience of a Transgender or Gay. Similarly, we might condemn a beggar or prostitute, but we don't know where they come from and what has put them into such a situation.

So, the first step to empathise is to drop all judgements and genuinely take interest in understanding someone. There is a good chance we can get to know them better, by having a deeper conversation, with an open mind and by being in a listening mode.

For instance, I was averse to the sight of transgenders, but once I had the opportunity to interact with them and understand their side of the story. I could understand the many practical difficulties they face, in terms of not being to get a job, finding a place to live and the social shame that excludes them not just from the society but their own family too. This helped me to gain a different perspective, which I had not had before.

Similarly, we can try this exercise with different segments of people, who we find it difficult to understand. It could be a street vendor, a garbage picker, a prostitute, a beggar, a physically challenged person, a visually impaired person, and so on. Through empathetic listening we will understand. It will help us widen our perspectives and broaden our minds. Once we understand, it will be easier for us to empathise, rather than just sympathise. This will result in us being more sensitive to them and act accordingly.

 D. Senthil Kannan,

 CEO, PALMS Training & Consulting (P) Ltd., Tuticorin.

 Author of "Transformational Thoughts" - A Journey of learning 

 Email: senthilkannand@gmail.com